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Joke of the Day

"Wanna measure the coefficient of static friction between us?"

"What do you get when the Pillsburry Doughboy bends over Dough nuts"

"Maybe I'd bother with cologne if my natural scent didn't make even elderly women violently ovulate."

"I had a piece of Carefree sugarless gum ..and I was still worried! It never kicked in!"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone used the wrong ""they're""... Their wouldn't be enough money on the planet."

"What do you call bacteria that can swim fast? Micro Phelps."

"My friend owns a zoo... My friend owns a zoo but the only animal is a tiny dog... Its a Shitzu"

"Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character."

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the _()_/ emoji"