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Joke of the Day

"We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the _()_/ emoji"

"How do mute people tell each others secrets? They put on mittens."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS"

"I'd like to die in my sleep like my grandpa Comfortably, unlike the rest of the people in his car"

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."

"My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!"

"Why are all the girls in my school dressed up like OP,s mom?"

"Which Asians have the softest skin? Laotians"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $20 Jewish boy: dad can I please have 20 dollars? Jewish dad: 10 dollars?!? What do you need 5 dollars for?"