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Joke of the Day

"My friend owns a zoo... My friend owns a zoo but the only animal is a tiny dog... Its a Shitzu"

"I would've thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited 'til it was dark instead."

"My kid is almost old enough for social media so we'll need to have ""the talk"" soon. You know, about your/you're and their/there/they're."

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."

"I saw a Prius crash into a Subaru Outback the other day... There was granola everywhere."

"Why are planes strong? Cuz they can lift."

"YOUR LISTENING TO MAGIC FM........pick a frequency, any frequency"

"With all of this negativity in the media At least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"Was told to fuck bitches and get money. All I got was charged with bestiality"

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt."