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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when the Pillsburry Doughboy bends over Dough nuts"

"The ""D"" boy: spell ""me"" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)"

"[NSFW] Why does a walrus love Tupperware? Because he's always looking for a tight seal."

"I just don't understand my next door neighbor. She keeps going on about how she'd love to be a contestant on a reality show, but she went mental when she found out I'd put cameras all over her house."

"Ordering at Chipotle: ""With white rice."" ""Brown?"" ""No, white. And chicken."" ""Steak?"" ""No, chicken. And medium salsa."" ""Mild?"" ""No, medium."""

"What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space? ""You're two shellfish."""

"If I worked for Papa Johns as a delivery man I would break down every door with an axe as I say ""Here's Johnny!"" Guaranteed tips."

"[marriage counseling] Ginny- He always hides from our problems. Therapist- Is this true? Harry- *puts on invisibility cloak* No."

"Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love."

"Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it!"