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Joke of the Day

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They can go through 110 stories in five seconds."

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"Password. ""I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."""

"Not saying I'm desperate enough for a mail order bride, but did just check to see how much FedEx charges for 125 pounds from Krasnoyarsk."

"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."

"One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever."

"England vs USA. Loser gets New Jersey."

"So, did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Would you like to make me wine? Join everyone stomping my grapes."

"How do you catch a whale? You wait until last call and use a good pick up line."