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Joke of the Day

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it."

"Why don't cannibals eat ex-wives? Because they're bitter."

"Why did the man name his daughter Candy? She was the sweetest mistake he ever made."

"Why are there so many piggy banks? Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress."

"Told my boss the salary I want when I move to California. Him: so you want the moon and all the stars too? Me: and Saturn."

"Tried to sign up to a website the other day... I put my password as ""beef stew"" It said password not stroganoff."

"AY LMAO's in a bar. Two aliens are sitting in a pub. One of them turns to the other and says, plububulaBBHAJGGIUI@@#GJKG?' The other one replies, Dude, you are seriously shitfaced.'"

"One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos"

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra... and says ""I'll order three beers."""