8156
Joke of the Day
"What happens when you zip up a lion? It rars"
Next Joke
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a rooster? An itchy cock"
"COP: So what happened? ME: He stole my watch & ran away down the road COP: Can you describe it? ME: It's like a big path that cars drive on"
"I hired a hitman to kill the wife. He said, I'll shoot her just below the left nipple. I replied, I want her dead, Not fucking kneecapped"
"Day two of the Insanity Workout. Half hour of talking to a lamp. Half hour of eating mulch. Fifty YouTube comments."
"Using rulers for target practice has really set me back in life. I'm tired of shooting myself in the foot."
"I'll have a club sandwich on rye. Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion"
"I want to be a virgin all my life I want to set a good example for my kids"
"What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks"