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Joke of the Day

"Using rulers for target practice has really set me back in life. I'm tired of shooting myself in the foot."

"If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer"

"Jokes about deporting Mexicans aren't funny They're despicable."

"Why do hurricanes always have female names? At first they are wet and wild, but then they take away your car and your house."

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"I asked a scientist how close humanity is to speed-of-light travel ""We're relatively far off."""

"All I'm hearing about today is a really awesome owl A superb owl at that, I don't get it."

"It doesn't matter how much you work, there will always be an asshole that works less but gets more."

"But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period."

"What do you tell a slow tomato? ...what? Ketchup"