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Joke of the Day

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."

"What is the most common comment on Reddit? OPs mother."

"i imagine the people who slaved for years perfecting the google search algorithm would be so mad knowing i mainly use it now for spellcheck"

"What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole."

"Calling your girlfriend Dumbledore.. ..cause she's the real head master"

"You know, I'm old enough to remember... When the worst thing you'd hear about on the news were highjacked jetliners flying into buildings. --Norm MacDonald"

"Did ya hear that the price of coal is so high Santa can't afford to give it away anymore? All of the bad kids are stuck trying to steal oil."

"Did you hear, John Wayne Bobbit got his penis cut off again? Isn't that redickless?"

"So Donald Trump is now the President of the United States I certainly DNC that coming"

"Smartphones are a lot like instant coffee... They're both good 'till the last drop."