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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) Whats cute, red, bubbly, and likes to scratch at windows. a baby in a microwave"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I'v never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"2 gay guys and 2 lesbians are Going to the beach. Who gets there first? The gay guys because they packed their shit the night before."

"I went to a Japanese restaurant and the noodles were disgusting. I guess you could say they were stone cold soba."

"Me: I made you a playlist... Her: OMG! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC! Me: It only has songs about food."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?"

"How to piss off the JokeExplainBot?"

"American beer is like making love in a canoe it's fucking close to water *Monty Python, Live at the Hollywood Bowl*"

"I went to the zoo today. The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shitzu."

"There was a woman trapped inside a Safeway, She was found dead of starvation the next morning."