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Joke of the Day

"What did the prostitute say to the psychic? I don't do aural. You're welcome and I'll show myself out."

"What European city is home to the most Indians? Buddha-pest."

"tip of the day - dont swollow ur spit for like 20 minuts and then u will have a warm drink"

"What did the baby corn say? what did the baby corn say to momma corn? where is popcorn."

"""oh no, this is so scary or whatever lol"" -giraffe in quicksand"

"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face :O"

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"Why is Pharrell Williams happy? Because he ""got lucky""."

"I understand if you aren't religious, I respect that. But you don't have to get all rude when I ask to use your first born as a sacrifice."