112652

Joke of the Day

"Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic? Because everything that stays there just ends up dying."

"What do you call a fish out of water? Asians? Idk it's been a rough day."

"My version of a haunted house is hitting yes when an ATM asks me if I'd like to see my balance."

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"What does a sarcastic fishing-rod with a broken reeler say? No, reely?"

"If Santa is black... and he is called father Christmas, that explains why children can't see him."

"What do you call a group of ISIS members with their backs turned? A bunch of sissies."

"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."

"Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old"

"What is it called when you call your ex? Ex-communication"