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Joke of the Day

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 38 D breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!"

"If shes's being being anal about it Give her sex and you'll make her whole day, Give her anal sex and you'll make her hole weak"

"The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize."

"Kids asked if they could do something & I said yes so my wife lowered my security clearance & now I'm not authorized to make those decisions"

"There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital... ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst."

"What do you call a Japanese pirate? J-Peg."

"What do you call a mexican on amphetamines? Speedy Gonzales."

"What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile? Convincing the sound to get into your van."

"I just got a futuristic coffee maker. It was a ground-breaking development."