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Joke of the Day

"A girl asked me whether I preferred breasts or thighs I replied , "" I prefer bubble butts and double D's"" Then I got kicked out of KFC."

"I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem."

"I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth. Because I don't like playing baseball with girls."

"I'm in a Josef Fritzl tribute band... You probably haven't heard of us, we're pretty underground."

"What's the difference between oral and rectal thermometers? The taste."

"What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son? He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's."

"My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis. For the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat."

"Reading about how much Daniel Craig hates Bond is like The Pope Visiting Kim Davis all over again."

"When I was young, you could go into a corner shop with 1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freddos and a magazine. Nowadays, there's CCTV everywhere."

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear ? Thunderwear"