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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife."

"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"""The auditors have just left sir."" ""Did they check the books?"" ""Very thoroughly."" ""What did they say?"" ""They want 15% to keep quiet."""

"What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground."

"9/11 victims are the fastest readers. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds!"

"It's hard dating a snowman... His parents will never warm up to you."

"The John Birch Society wants American schools to ban protractors. Because a protractor marks angles."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Not too hot. That way I can stick my dick in em."

"I thought about going into investment banking Then I lost interest."

""" Could the cereal your children eat every morning be killing them? Tonite at 11 on abcnews56 we will tell you"" "" After several studies , no. """