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Joke of the Day

"If one more teenager uses the term 'Back in the day'...I swear I'm gonna smack them with a floppy disk and choke them with my legwarmers."

"Growing up on Disney movies has left me so disillusioned about small woodland creatures and their willingness to help me with my chores."

"A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel."

"If she asks you to be in an open relationship, tell her to walk out that open door. She's a slut."

"In a spaceship... - Hey Yoda. Are we in the right way? - Of course we are. - Ok then... KEEP GOING GUYS, THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY."

"Airline just told my GF she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes."

"A man told little Johnny ""I'll give you a piece of candy if you come in my van?"" Little Johnny replied ""I'll cum on your face for the entire bag!"""

"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault? Of course you have, because that's the definition of an accident."

"What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon ."

"A south-African and a north-African has a bet about who can hit the ground first from a skyscraper. Who wins? Society."