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Joke of the Day

"A man told little Johnny ""I'll give you a piece of candy if you come in my van?"" Little Johnny replied ""I'll cum on your face for the entire bag!"""

"Oh you're upset about a thing? Allow me to remind you that there are other, more upsetting things. Somehow I think this should help you"

"24 men sucked off in Magaluf. 11 f*cked in Belo Horizonte."

"Women are the only people who can go out broke and come home drunk."

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose ""Superpower is unbreakable skin. Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution! -Danish Anwar"

"My eyes are brown with tiny flecks of narcissism."

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Timex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"Don't you hate it when you don't know something and have no way of finding out? We need some kind of... global information network."

"Skills can be taught. Character you either have or you don't have."