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Joke of the Day

"A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel."

"Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !"

"[blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*"

"Jogging in place at a crosswalk makes you A) hole B) cool C) what I did there D) bag?"

"Yeah, I knew Shakespeare in college. Typical neck bard."

"Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: ""Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!"""

"A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!"

"A woman walks into a beauty salon and asks the beautician, can you make me look like Kim Kardashian? Beautician says: you want me to put a black cock in your mouth?"

"You now what's great about fucking twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"Do you know the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? Only one of them will stop screwing you after you're dead."