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Joke of the Day

"Whatever doesn't kill you TRIED TO KILL YOU!"

"What do you call a person who kills babies and gets paid for it? An abortion doctor."

"There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today."

"What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim? A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off."

"What did pancake Chip say to his friend pancake Berry when Berry was sad? ""Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter"""

"To get to the other side. Why did Yoda cross the road?"

"Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?"

"Elephant in sneakers Why does an elephant wear sneakers? So that he can sneak up on mice!"

"Last night I found out you can make a lot of people REALLY angry if you dress in a Star Trek costume and also carry a light saber"

"I wasn't sure about the idea of a beard at first But its growing on me."