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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a person who kills babies and gets paid for it? An abortion doctor."
Next Joke
"u mad bro? or just disappointed bro?"
"A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away"
"My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said ""You'll be okay, stop syncing about it"". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together."
"In 2017, every TV show's marketing plan will be to add a Trump parody character so he's compelled to watch & cry on twitter about it."
"Oscar Pistorius found guilty of murder Police say he is now on the run."
"I always draw track marks on my arms and cough a lot when visiting family so that no one asks me to hold their baby or help prepare food."
"A British soldier meets an Australian soldier on a warzone **British soldier**: Did you come here to die? **Australian soldier**: Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"
"My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car."
"Wife: I can't find my phone Me: Want me to call it? Wife: Sure, I - Me: PHONE, HERE BOY"