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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't sure about the idea of a beard at first But its growing on me."

"There are only two types of people in this world... Those who can't extrapolate from incomplete data."

"[breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] ""Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."""

"Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy? An ape-ricot sour!"

"There was a kidnapping in my school today. Thank god he woke up."

"Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween; I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work."

"""Can't argue with that!"" he said, pointing to an inanimate object."

"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop him a line."

"I went to my doctor. He said I was overweight. I said I want a second opinion. He said you're ugly too."