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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag."

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"Chinese culture lesson In china people used to eat weed That's why they saw dragons and can't open their eyes again."
"What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach? ....Sandy ego."
"PERSON: Want a slice? ME: No thanks, trying to eliminate bread P: From your diet? M [having sworn to destroy all bread]: Sure...from my diet"
"I can't believe it's almost 2012 & there isn't a prenatal test to find out if you're gonna have one of those kids who's really into magic."
"""I'd hit that!"" -Helpful blackjack dealer"
"Paraplegic people go to hell ... Paraplegic people go to hell because there's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."
"what is the difference between aspirin and a strippers boyfriend? asprin works."
"[at a bar] ""I'm meeting my friend Dan"" big Dan or Dan who's never has money? [door swings open] HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY THEIR BUDDY DAN A DRINK"
"What do you call a person with native american ancestry and alopecia? apache"