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Joke of the Day

"""I'd hit that!"" -Helpful blackjack dealer"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Costa ! Costa who ? Costa lot !"

"""I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter"" (How I'd die in a horror movie)"

"What do you call it when you lobotomize a bunch of terrorists? Simplifiying Radicals. (MATH joke)"

"A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid. 'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.'"

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe? Cincinnati zoo"

"I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression."

"[spending entire date hiding the fact I'm really a beaver] ""ow"" what's wrong? ""I got a splinter"" may I see? ""I guess so"" delicious ""pardon?"""

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."

"Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now."