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Joke of the Day

"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."

"Ways to get ants out of your house: 1) Ant traps 2) Say you had a good time but it's late & you have work tomorrow 3) Set house on fire"

"What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl? sometimes i get the joke."

"You know what they say... If a Chilean Miner gets scared and runs back to his hole it's winter for 6 more weeks."

"Twilight and Hostess are over. It's a sad day for fat girls."

"Apparently champagne is the easiest alcohol to digest, so I'm going to consume several bottles to wash down my salad."

"what is your least favorite type of sandwich? Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"If Lebron's so much better than Jordan then explain to me why Bugs Bunny has never once asked for his help in a game. Cant argue with facts."

"Have you guys heard about the corduroy pillows? There making head lines. (classic) Edit: goddammit...they're"