9090

Joke of the Day

"Have you guys heard about the corduroy pillows? There making head lines. (classic) Edit: goddammit...they're"

"Today is a very special day. The one day a year I can say I have a girl."

"I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help."

"The person who invented knock knock jokes... Deserves a no bell prize."

"George R.R. Martin writes Game of Thrones books... ...and makes a killing out of them."

"Me: ""Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?"" Nurse: ""Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..."" *pulls pants back up*"

"What is the most simplistic way to get downvoted? > simplistic 10 letters"

"FIANCE: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota"

"Me: hello I've run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I'm sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I've also run out of towels"

"Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis? Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints"