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Joke of the Day

"Hero's don't wear capes, they wear dog tags."

"why Palestinians have the fastest computers? coz they have RAM-allah"

"You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way? It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane."

"I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]"

"God put a perfect woman in every corner of the world. Then he made the earth round."

"There's a new movement against cutting in line. Now that's a movement I can get behind!"

"Where can you find tetraplegics? Where you left them."

"When did the 100 years war get serious? When the English got Crecy"

"99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around 117 little bugs in the code."

"Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?"