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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs? Because it's says ""No *Tres*passing."

"*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves."

"Guy on fb posted a picture of his baby w/ the caption ""1st Easter!"" Hell no, there have been like 2000, we're not starting over just for him"

"Why can't a hand be 12 inches long? BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!"

"A physics teacher accidentally walks into the psychology classroom on her first day... Whoops wrong sub"

"So I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer.... I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day."

"Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What's your thoughts on renewable energy? 2: I'm a big fan."

"What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ? That's my buoy !"

"I was bitten by a Hasidic Jew. The doctor in the E/R gave me Rabbi shots."

"What kind of turns do letters take? U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo."