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Joke of the Day

"What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors? He has a reptile dysfunction."

"If your girlfriend starts smoking... Slow down and try using some lube!"

"As the zombies swarm, I ask for one last selfie. By the time they realise their dead flesh won't activate the touch screen, I'm long gone."

"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"

"Vladimir Putin was recently late to a meeting He was really Russian"

"Q: How does an octopus go to war? A: Armed."

"If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships."

"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece."

"If you sleep with your socks on, please unfollow. I do not support you or your lifestyle"

"Girls on GoneWild Q: Why do girls on gonewild wear panties? A: So that their ankles would keep warm"