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Joke of the Day

"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"

"a lawyer, a priest, and a gangster walk into a bar bartender says, ""what is this, a joke??"""

"What do you say to an unemployed Rastafarian? Jah bless"

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere."

"A Doctor gives his patient the bad news that he only has a week to live... Patient - ""No, I don't accept that! I'd like an alternative fact please"" Doctor - ""Money-wise, you are now set for life"""

"An ancient tribe of homosapiens split off from the rest and stared at the sun for thousands of years. Today we call them Asians."

"I Like my women like i like my elevators.... If I push their buttons, they'll go down."

"Even after all the crap that's gone between them. They're still together. My butt cheeks :)"

"What sound does a bomb make before it goes off? allahu ackbar!!"