79286

Joke of the Day

"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"

"What do you call a nursing home with a buffet? A Golden Corral."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my dick in your ass"

"""Some people say I'm an animal in the sack."" - baby kangaroo"

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"

"Dang girl are you the old lady from Up, because I've only been here for like 5 minutes and you're already gone."

"What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polyunsaturated"

"I pulled a muscle masturbating... I know, I know; you're not supposed to put the punchline in the title."

"What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common? Both ride bicycles and are on a mission."

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."