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Joke of the Day

"As the zombies swarm, I ask for one last selfie. By the time they realise their dead flesh won't activate the touch screen, I'm long gone."

"FWD: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: THE DOGS HAVE LEARNED HOW TO EMAIL THIS IS YOUR DOG HELLO SUSAN"

"Your momma's so fat, she's like the negative cosine of X... They both go down after pi"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in ternary"

"My dick is like a chinese finger trap. The more you struggle, the harder it gets."

"Oh shit, my computer uses U.S. English. I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? TUH KEELLUHHH!!!"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's really heavy and the other's a little lighter."

"*beats dead horse* *kills two birds with 1 stone* *lets cat out of bag* *takes bull by horns* *breaks camels back* *gets kicked out of zoo*"

"Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack."