88815

Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece."

"How did Link win the basketball game for his team? He used the Hookshot!"

"[Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice."

"I like my coffee how i like my women, Without a dick."

"(after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T"

"I'm so broke... I gotta jerk off the dog to feed the cat"

"Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss"

"What does batman get in his drinks? Just Ice"

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung"