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Joke of the Day
"Q: How does an octopus go to war? A: Armed."
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"NEW YORK STATE OF MIND Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."
"What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday."
"What do you call pasta with alzheimers? forgetti"
"DOCTOR: *stethoscope on my back* Gimme a very slow exhale. ME: EXXXXHHHHHHAAAALLLLLE"
"isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they're annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would've died like 15 years ago"
"I like my women like I like my men. That's the joke. I'm bi."
"What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple."
"What did Mexico City say to his father before he left for college? Ciudad..."
"You guys wanna here a joke? Blood on the Dancefloor."