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Joke of the Day
"I don't call it ""laziness."" I call it ""selective participation."""
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"Why can't a vegetable win an argument? Cuz he always uses a straw, man!"
"The people in commercials care about me & want to help."
"Why does Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken always comes in a different box."
"I guess one thing can be said about the election... It was allright."
"Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God... what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died."
"[Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room ""You've never lived to up to your potential!"""
"How school works: In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples.He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass."
"Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!"
"I got into fight with my erection this morning. Don't worry, I beat it single handedly."