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Joke of the Day

"[Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room ""You've never lived to up to your potential!"""

"I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade."

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off anywhere!"

"[mailman delivering package to hospital] DOCTOR: ah, just what the doctor ordered MAILMAN: please stop saying that"

"My kid's favorite joke right now: Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. ... omg that is SO gross"

"Snowmen on a hill Two snowmen are standing on a hill and one says to the other ""Smells like carrots..."""

"So I used to hang out with a linguist... ...until I found out he was stealing money from me. Turns out he was a false friend."

"Bra & Hat What did the bra say to the hat? ""You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."""

"My friends most commonly describe me as ""who?"""

"*writing suicide letter Goodbye cruel world. Your going to really miss me when I'm gone... Cat: *you're"