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Joke of the Day

"[Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room ""You've never lived to up to your potential!"""

"It cost me $14,000 and took 3 years, but I finally pulled off legally changing my friend's baby's name without him knowing. I LOVE PRANKS!!!"

"Reddit is down? Now where will 9gag get all of its content?"

"I assume most of braille writing is just shit talking about non-blind people."

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

"What do you call a fat Psychic? A Large"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He [ate his food, drank his tea, etc] before it was cool."

"When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment ""nice"" on everyones old pool pics"

"Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting."

"Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way."