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Joke of the Day

"Why does Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken always comes in a different box."

"What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that can breathe underwater? Gil."

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"What would you say to Hitler if he was sick? Hey, ill Hitler!"

"Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 pills at me today Luckily my injuries were mostly super fish-oil."

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"The thing I love about baseball is that it has all the excitement of football, packed into 162 4 hour games."

"What's the difference between a toddler and a handgun? A handgun can't suck a dick."

"Detective: ok forensics is finished. I'll start here and you- Dog cop: I'll mark our territory [dog cop pees around the crime scene tape]"

"What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to? A grudge."