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Joke of the Day

"Why does Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken always comes in a different box."

"There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket."

"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."

"'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"What's got six legs and can fly long distances ? Three swallows !"

"Mark Ruffalo is the name you could most likely teach a dog to say."

"Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza."

"I could never date a homophobe... I just don't think he'd be into that."

"Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur Trannyosaurus Rex"