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Joke of the Day

"I only speak Spanish when bill collectors call"

"remember blowing bubbles as a kid? good. you should call him, he misses you."

"Those girls on the balance beam learn early on that 4 inches isn't much to work with."

"The only thing I hate more than taxi drivers who talk on their phone the whole time are the ones who say even a single word to me."

"I still remember when airlines gave you two choices; smoking, and chain smoking."

"The Dress Joke ""Did you hear about that blue and black dress?"" ""No, what about it?"" ""Turns out it was white and gold."" ""Oh thaaat one."""

"Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road? A few big bumps means you should probably slow down. Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone."

"If my boyfriend ever cheated on me I'd be like omg I have a boyfriend :)"

"A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'"

"Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics? Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States."