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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road? A few big bumps means you should probably slow down. Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone."

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"I love my cats so much, I love that I get to have these two tiny killing machines cuddled up in bed with me"
"What do you call a person who has sex with a person and a sheep? Basexual"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""hey, I got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says, ""hey you got a drink named Steve?!"""
"As Sitting Bull said to the mermaid . . . ""How?"""
"I'm starting a nightclub to cater to people infected with AIDS It's called ""Hi Five"" in Roman Numerals (HIV)"
"Girl, are you a conspiracy theory? Because I want to listen to you all day long even though I find it hard to believe a word you say."
"Why did the insomniac get arrested? He resisted a rest."
"Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer? In denial."
"How do astronauts make a party? They plan-et."