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Joke of the Day

"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit."

"Stuffs sugar packets into my handbag as I leave the cafe. Sachets away."

"If Keanu Reeves was born with two X chromosomes, what would he be? A whoa-man."

"What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge"

"Does anyone ever spiral into control?"

"What kind of light makes the best US president? A blinkin' light"

"There is no panic like the panic you feel when you think you may have clogged the toilet at someone else's house."

"I asked my redneck friend what he thought of the Trans-Pacific Partnership He said that as long as they don't marry, then he's okay with it."

"Why is Islam in Iran so bad? Not exactly sure why, myself, it's just Shiite"

"Why wouldn't the two tampons speak to each other? Because they were both stuck-up cunts."