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Joke of the Day

"A roger you say? My hot Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I'd dropped my pants and got my cock out that I realised she meant someone to rent her spare room."

"How do you confuse a fish? You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!"

"What did the kid ask the Pirate? Kid asks, ""Where are your buccaneers?"" Pirate replies, ""They're under my Buccan Hat!"""

"i found the cure for cancer [deleted]"

"Make sure you always tip the people who make your pizza... They knead the dough."

"Today, I woke up an optimist. He punched me in the face."

"Knock knock Who's there? I smell a map. I smell a map who? Gross."

"Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!"

"How do you blow up a Muslim's phone? Put it on airplane mode."

"I just said ""Who's a little biscuit!"" to a puppy tied to a signpost outside a cafe & a homeless guy a few feet away said ""I am."""