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Joke of the Day

"I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area."

"Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome."

"I always wake up my friend by shouting ""Hands off cocks! On with socks!"" I don't think she likes it."

"Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No but I can pick it up."

"What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops? A small medium at large!"

"What is a neckbeard's favorite language? M'lay."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way"

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"I didn't believe the rumours about clowns being spotted all over the country Until I saw them debating on TV."

"Look, don't ask me about the blind masturbation competition. I don't know where I came."