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Joke of the Day

"What is a neckbeard's favorite language? M'lay."

"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti made from milk protein... But sadly he pasta whey."

"Why such hate on Lance Armstrong? I think his riding style is pretty dope."

"A friend of mine was learning to drive. The problem was he couldn't get the hang of backing the car round corners. His instructor fixed him by using reverse psychology!"

"Jesus said to John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I'll just use this dry paper and call it good."

"What do my dad and God have in common? I've never seen or heard from either of them."

"What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook."

"Bunnyprofessor"