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Joke of the Day

"Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome."

"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."

"What did Obama say to Congress when they vetoed Obama Care? My god, you're all insane. Am I the only one Hussein?"

"One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, ""Samsung has had this feature for years""."

"A bomb went off in an ink factory... Everyone Dyed."

"I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey."

"What do you call a German outkast? Hey, ja!"

"What is the same betweem long distance track and school Your going nowhere and your doing it slowly"

"The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything."

"What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic? Meals on wheels"