7850

Joke of the Day

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"I hate when people ask what I hope to be doing in 5 years time. I mean come on, I don't have 2020 vision."

"If a red panda is caught stealing, what do you call it? It was caught Red Panded"

"What's white and has black spots a dalmatian"

"Why can't astronauts eat popsicles? In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck."

"What does a West Virginia couple do on Halloween? They pump kin."

"Yeah food is good but idk I guess I just always wanted to be able to devour souls as well"

"Santa at an interview in an IT Company. Manager: Do you know MS Office? Santa: If you give me the address, I will go there sir."

"How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around."