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Joke of the Day
"How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper."
Next Joke
"What do you tell a woman with a black eye? Nothing, she's already been told twice."
"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."
"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."
"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"
"Just been sent to jail for the first time and spent the first half hour getting ass raped. My Uncle Frank takes Monopoly far too seriously"
"Sundays always bring out my inner senior citizen...."
"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."
"A Poem Roses are red, Violets are blue, Stop memes about Harambe -Cincinnati Zoo"
"Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned and one hadn't even been coloured in yet."