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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people ask what I hope to be doing in 5 years time. I mean come on, I don't have 2020 vision."

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"Whats the most politically divided animal? The polar bear.. I'll see myself out..."
"Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days."
"CW: Why don't you ever wear your hair down? Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So? Me: I don't want to encourage that."
"What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common? They both know ""what a girl wants"" and ""what a girl needs""."
"Costume idea: Dress up like milkshake, wait in the yard."
"What dat mouf do ;)"
"The coolest Superhero would be The Inaudible Woman."
"I was going to bring everyone on reddit some cool plants but unfortunately, I never botany"
"I knew this guy who would ask men at church, ""is your tie made out of bird cloth?"" <blank stare> ""It's cheep, cheep, cheep."""
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