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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people ask what I hope to be doing in 5 years time. I mean come on, I don't have 2020 vision."

"I got a 0 on my computers test. a 01000001"

"Darth Vader could never find love.... He was looking in Alderaan places."

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one if he's got a good crew to do it."

"I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo."

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"

"Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers? Math hue."

"I used to be addicted to soap It's okay I'm clean now"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again."