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Joke of the Day
"I miss lost brain cells the most when I can't find my car keys. Also, my car."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between the calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."
"EXCITED INVENTOR: this is the best thimg since sliced bread!!!!! SLICED BREAD: [anxiously smokig in the corner] i wish i was never invented"
"Why do engineers have to practice their social skills? So they don't forget either of them."
"Some people think it's difficult to live with Erectile Dysfunction But really, it's not that hard."
"""I want to swim with an overweight, rich white guy before I die."" - Dolphin bucket list."
"Buying my parents' house. Soon, like so many of the 'ladies' here... I too will be a middle aged man tweeting from his mom's basement."
"What do you call a guy that steals burgers? A hamburglar!"
"What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle? My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle."
"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"