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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine how awesome sprinkles would be if they tasted like anything?!"

"In the presidential election, who does the elephant vote for? Donald Trunk."

"Whenever someone makes a premature blanket conclusion based on a single piece of information... I automatically assume they're a complete idiot."

"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."

"A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who reply to a text message with a phone call"

"Having a Hot Wife is like being a diabetic with a coupon for unlimited cheesecakes. It may look nice but you never get to use it. Source: Have a Hot Wife, Never get laid"

"One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession Luckily, It only cost them a grand."

"how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Enough to protest until the government does it for them"

"Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed."

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."