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Joke of the Day

"This is rigged! Wife to Husband : Will you take me out for dinner in the evening? Your options are: A) Yes B) A C) B"

"Each day of my life is like a chapter in a book.....deserving of a happy ending...."

"I was just scammed out of 25 dollars. I purchased a dvd titled ""Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes."" It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!"

"Point of etiquette: When attending a chainsaw massacre, don't spend the entire time chainsawing one person. Get out there and mangle."

"Can a blind person please rub their hands over their dog's nipples and tell me what it says?"

"What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza? Even if it is cold it's still good."

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"Religion is like stuffing dollar after dollar into a broken Coke machine and having faith that some day it will work for you."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up."

"Rules for a happy relationship 1. The wife is always right. 2. If the wife is wrong, see rule number 1. i know it's an old joke but it's my favorite"