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Joke of the Day

"Rules for a happy relationship 1. The wife is always right. 2. If the wife is wrong, see rule number 1. i know it's an old joke but it's my favorite"

"Did anyone else hear about the claustrophile? He just came out of the closet recently."

"I heard Sean Connery's great grandpa was hung for lese-majeste. God, shave the Queen."

"What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both can be used to carry vegetables...."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest asked the rabbi, ""Do you get paid for corcumcisions?"" The rabbi replies ""No, but I keep the tips."""

"Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi!"

"How fast do lesbians have sex? Lickety-split."

"I'm not the male chauvinist one God is, he is the one that made women inferior."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."