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Joke of the Day

"My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp, I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again."

"So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'."

"Teacher asks a question Teacher: ""whoever answers my next question can go home"" Jimmy throws his bag out the window Teacher: ""who just threw that?"" Jimmy: ""that was me"""

"My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine."

"A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. ""Ha, ha!"" says the nun, removing her costume. ""I'm the bus driver!"""

"I am watching silence of the lambs for the first time and... I am **eating** this movie up."

"What's the difference between an English pig and a French pig? A French pig goes, ""Oui! Oui! Oui!"" all the way home."

"I was touched by Jesus today Oh wait that's a Duggar"

"Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon? Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!"

"Always trust your dog's first impression of someone."